Posts Tagged ‘Wrestling’

::cues up Kanye’s “FEELS GOOD TO BE HOME!” outro from “Touch the Sky”::

Greetings, all. Did you miss us?

Earlier this week, I came across Bauce Sauce’s “0 to 100” freestyle, the aptly titled “0 to 140.” If you’re not familiar with Bauce Sauce, he’s a writer who’s made some pretty big waves these past couple of years. Using his irreverent humor and his website, Mostly Junk Food, Mr. Sauce has worked his way to a pretty sweet gig at Complex. So, what better way to announce to the rest of the world that you’re here than to let them hear you spit hot fire…or something. While Sauce has been rapping for a while, apparently, this track is what’s got him dealing with the masses en masse.

BAUCE

The song “0 to 140,” sarcastically, was called the hip-hop killer, possibly because Bauce Sauce is a kind of nerdy-looking white guy going ham over a Drake song about how his blogging contemporaries just can’t see him. Kind of like John Cena, but replace wigga-like mannerisms and a can-conquer-anything attitude with self-depreciating humor. And that’s all it took for some of the hip-hop world to turn on this guy quicker than, well, the WWE “Universe” has turned on John Cena (unless, of course, you “get” it–but even still). Which brings me to my point: in hip-hop, sarcasm and parody tend to not translate that well.

Weird Al got into a long-standing beef with Coolio over the “Amish Paradise” song. Heck, I have been in some weird confrontations because what I said went over people’s heads. Is it because hip-hop, even with its long list of metaphors, is an art form where people still take things at relative face value? Perhaps, considering there are individuals who believe Rick Ross actually has a billion dollars. It’s also potentially that, and I really hate playing the “race card”, because Bauce is a nerdy white dude, some purists unfairly attack this (somewhat out-there) comment of “I [messed] around and ruined hip-hop.” Is it out of line? Kind of, considering that hip-hop, to some, is considered sacred (in other words, no one can make fun of it, unless you’ve been accepted in the culture. And even then, it’s still looked at sideways). But, did it warrant the guy getting threatened to be robbed for being a clown?

In the immortal words of Keith Cozart, nah. Plus, it gives me a reason to post this gif:

Until next time, guys and girls.

****

(Shameless Plug Alert)

For those who forgot, I do actually dabble in this rappin’ thang myself (woot, woot). With that said, be sure to check out Death of The King when it drops Sunday, August 17th over at SpeedontheBeat.Bandcamp.com and on iTunes and all that fun stuff.

Greetings, all. Hope I don’t drive too many of you away from here. I promise it all comes together in the end.

So, this week, I was all pumped to write a post on the evolution of Chance the Rapper (or talk on the evolution of Drake’s fanboy-like nature when it comes to sports). Then, I got the news that the Ultimate Warrior died suddenly a few days after being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame (and delivering a prophetic promo on Monday Night Raw).

This shocking news, which I’ll speak on a bit more on my personal site in the coming days, got me thinking about one of the worst angles in my twenty-some years as a pro wrestling fan. In case you don’t know, your [butt] better call somebody (this will pop up again) and listen up before I have to open a can of whoop-you-know-what.

In the late 90s, the Attitude Era had taken over the WWE, at the time known as the WWF. What this meant for one of the main competitors to the WWE, WCW (or World Championship Wrestling) is that they’d have to up the ante on storylines, marketability, and straight-up ridiculousness to keep people tuning in. Heels (bad guys) and faces (good guys) flipped sides more than a three-sided coin. David Arquette won the “Big Gold” belt. And, guest stars begin to litter the WCW landscape.

One of those guest stars was none other than Mr. “Age in Rap Ain’t Nuthin’ But a Numba” himself, Master P.

Master P decided to sign into a partnership with WCW. If Master P lent some credence to wrasslin’ in the hip-hop community, then WCW would lend some credence to hip-hop in the wrestling community. Oh, and there was something about Master P’s possible cousin “Swoll” being able to wrestle and get screen time.

What came out of this relationship is a storyline that many wrestling sites consider to be one of the worst in the history of WCW. And this is coming from a sports entertainment federation which employed Robocop at one of their pay-per-views.

(See what I mean?)

In the sometimes nonsensical world of pro wrestling, you expect stuff to not make sense. That’s part of kayfabe. You’ve got to suspend some reality to get into it. But, Master P’s inclusion in WCW, as part of the–wait for it–No Limit Soldiers was insanely abysmal. Not only was his stable (group of wrestlers) booed ad nauseam, they were brought in as faces. Translation: the good guys got the [stuffing] booed out of them because:

1) WCW brought in a bunch of non-wrestlers to take time/money away from actual wrestlers (Master P got paid about a million dollars for a month)
2) A lot of WCW’s fan base quite possibly thought that “rap was crap,” agreeing with the heel faction that sprung up to feud with the “No Limit Soldiers”
3) The actual wrestlers in the NLS stable were either glorified jobbers or had no business in a rap-centric stable–and yes, that includes Brad Armstrong, the brother of Road Dogg (Jesse James) of the New Age Outlaws and DX in WWF/WWE (who eventually resurfaced as, to a degree, a spoof of Road Dogg).
4) The NLS stable came off as a straight-up parody of hip-hop and was kind of stereotypical in nature (and not even the “funny” kind of stereotypical. They were almost booed out of Washington DC during their debut).
5) This was one of the most-awkward celebrity appearances in professional wrestling

(See what I mean?)

Essentially, it was the result of WCW trying to reach out to “the blacks” the hip-hop community in a pandering effort that was half-cooked. Of course, this isn’t the first time wrestling and hip-hop have meshed. We have wrestlers such as R-Truth, to this very day, poppin’ and lockin’ in their entrances. Silkk the Shocker performed a WWE theme song. We had the tag team of JTG and Shad known as “Cryme Tyme,” which, in some ways, was even more stereotypical than Master P’s bunch (But, at least everyone was in on the joke…I think).

(BROOKLYN BROOKLYN!)

But, for me, the No Limit Soldiers gimmick stands out as one of the worst marriages of hip-hop and wrestling–and there have been some odd ones.

For kicks, I’ve included the No Limit entrance theme, “Hoody Hoo,” which, of course, is NSFW (I mean, it’s old-school No Limit).

Until next time. I promise that next week I’ll keep it strictly hip-hop. No piledrivers or Stone Cold Stunners.

Ok, maybe a stunner or two (contains some middle-finger-flipping action and some minor NSFW language)

Greetings, all.

In between the snow, wind, rain, and so-on of the past seven or so days, I legitimately haven’t had much time to peep some of the hip-hop happenings of this week. Add in the fact that I’m also working on my own musical projects at the moment (Ed. Note: #Thanatos128 is the first single from my next album, and it drops everywhere on 1.28.14) and I’ve had my eyes and ears away from most music that doesn’t contain a “Speed on the Beat!” dropped in there somewhere. Thus is the tragedy of a hip-hop blogger/artist/brand manager. Sometimes, you get overwhelmed and miss some stuff.

But, enough about me (I’ve got all next week to rave about me). This week, I want to talk to the aspiring artists out there. No, this won’t be a retread of my “Dear (Internet) Rappers” series. Because those, well, those are for the rappers who just started out, or those who have the business sense of a fresh-in-the-booth artist. Today, I want to talk to the rappers who’ve done everything right, but still find themselves losing out.

You may find yourself asking, “Why can’t I get on?” especially if you’ve dropped tape after tape after tape of halfway solid material. This can lead to a lack of faith, resulting in you switching your style up completely (in other words, you go from Kendrick Lamar to Gunplay in a matter of seconds) because you feel that style B is more complementary to what’s “hot.” That is the first step to failure. If what you’re doing isn’t reaching an audience, perhaps you should try a different audience.

Take for instance, myself with the whole “no-fi” thing. A lot of traditional rap blogs/fans were a bit hesitant to embrace it. Heck, who can blame them? I was making music that intentionally sounded like I recorded it underwater in the 1990s with 1980s equipment. I was distraught when I received my first couple rejection notices. But, then I thought to myself “hey, since ‘no-fi’ is more of a grunge-type of approach to music, I should find bloggers that know about grunge and hip-hop.” Surely enough, I began seeing my name appear on more blogs and saw the Speed on the Beat brand grow as a result of fine-tuning my efforts. Yes, casting a wide net is cool, but you’ll often end up with more water instead of fish. If you’re as dedicated as you say you are, you’ll find blogs and fans that are more likely to be receptive to you. If you can amass a large enough following from the so-called “little guys,” eventually the bigger fish will have no choice but to follow suit.

Simply put, the indie artist is Daniel Bryan to many a “big blog” (Ed. Note: I would’ve said CM Punk, but Bryan’s appearance is more “everyman” and therefore further illustrates the connection).

And just like DB, the indie artist may very well want to kick someone's head off.

And just like DB, the indie artist may very well want to kick someone’s head off.

Sure, the indie may be technically sound. The indie artist may have a decent fan base and a small amount of recognition from some prestigious places. The indie artist may even be the so-called antidote to what ails “mainstream” hip-hop. But, some bigger blogs feel that they’re just like the next small guy to approach them. This is often because many indie artists do exactly the things that I, and others like me, advise against. If those faux pas aren’t committed, then it’s up to the artist to make an effort to get himself recognized, if even for a catchphrase, by the big boys. Then, it’s up to both the artist to make himself known and accessible and the bigger blogs to find smaller acts to replace/complement the bigger ones. Let’s face it: Lil’ Wayne still draws views and hits, but Lil’ Wayne will not be around forever.

However, if this route doesn’t work, even after you’ve followed the “Dear (Internet) Rappers” posts to a T? If no one, and I mean NO ONE, has responded to your inquiry about hosting your song on their site, then it may be time to give it up. And while many of you may not want to hear that, it’s a simple fact. If you follow the “rules” and “etiquette” to a fault, build a fan base, build a rapport with artists/bloggers/etc. and still can’t get an iota of shine, you wouldn’t have been long for the music world anyway.

Most of us have it in us somewhere to be great. Others, well, don’t.


This week in music has kind of been like this. And I’m a huge Daniel Bryan mark. Better things will come, I hope.

It’s me, it’s me. It’s the guy you probably love to dislike to a certain degree, Speed on the Beat back with another exciting (perhaps) entry on This Week in Music. It’s a doozy of Chris Brown-Pinky proportions (link features some Pinky twerking and stuff)–if that’s your sort of thing. Pinky’s body goes from halfway skinny to hyper-thick to losing control (in either direction) randomly. Here’s one of the only safe-for-work photos I could find. It (obviously) doesn’t show the body.

Anyway–before Arteest revokes my contributor status for rambling about pornstars (I’ve always been more of an Aurora Jolie fan myself)–Paris Hilton has released the CDQ version of her surefire Grammy hit Kim Zolziac-esque “Good Time” featuring Weezy F. CoochieMonster (and the F is for “no one really effin’ cares anymore”). The song sounds like what you’d expect, so pretty much the same song we heard in 2011–Top 40 EDM-influenced pop–but now with a Tunechi Tunechi Tuna Fish verse that refers to having sex in a myriad of ways. Just like their other collaborations. At least we get to see Paris in a bikini. That’s still a thing, right?


Anyone? No? Ok, then. Moving on.

The “Cousin Terio” meme seems to not be going away, at least if HipHopDX-featured song “Ooh Kill ‘Em” by J-Doe has anything to say about it.  As much as I probably shouldn’t like this song–y’know, because I blog about music, therefore I must be some sort of music snob–it’s goofy as hell, brain-rotting, but infectious. I think it works better in a “why so serious?” way versus Meek’s use of the meme.

MA$€ (I assume that the Euro is to show that he’s international and trendy–or something) seems to be pissed (potentially rightfully so) over this track. I don’t know what’s worse–the bastardization of the legacy of Biggie and Pac, or this convoluted mess of a song? Personally, I’ve got to say that the song itself is worse. For starters, you’ve got Swizz Beatz and Diddy ad-libbing through the whole damn thing like this is something from 1999. The beat knocks, drums-wise, but it sounds like your typical MMG beat.

For all the “backpackers,” Papoose decided to hop on that song that’ll make Lorde rich, but she’ll probably denounce when she’s 25 as some sort of label BS and go all Miley Cyrus on people, “Royals.” The song won’t go away, nor will Papoose. Thanks Kendrick, for making him relavant enough to post on DX again. No, that’s not “shade.” I’m serious. Believe it or not, I rock with some of Papoose’s stuff.

Aside from that Nipsey Hussle tape, we have new album/mixtape releases from Danny Brown (shoutout to The Diamondback for the review, so I wouldn’t have to. #Terping), Killa Cam, and Game. So, there’s something for everyone.

And finally, in our indie/not exactly mainstream spotlight of the week, we’ve got Baltimore Club (sorry, I’m from B’more originally. Club music will almost be referred to by me as “Baltimore Club,” even if it’s Jersey Club. No disrespect intended; it’s just a force of habit) producer DJ KMillz. Listen to his “All Me” Jersey Club and his “I Be on It” Jersey Club mixes, especially.

Here’s hoping next week goes like this, I mean the Stone Cold aspect of it…:

What’s good in the woods and the hoods? It’s me, it’s me, it’s the No-Fi King Speed on the Beat ready to kick off my first post for Thee Arteest. When I was first approached for the opportunity, it took me all but ten seconds to be all, “well, heck yeah!” Arteest and I go back a couple of years to our undergrad days at the University of Maryland, so I’m honored. But, enough mushiness! I’ll just let my proverbial pen show my excitement on this new chapter.

While perusing through the Twitterverse today, I happened across this whole DJ Quik/Andre 3000 “beef”/rumor mill/random vent session. Now, while I get why Quik’s PO’ed, I’m pretty sure of two things. First, if Quik actually had “the monster,” he’s not Magic Johnson. He surely would have shown signs of it by now and/or died by now. So, while it probably had an initial impact, it’s not the type of thing you need to take to Twitter to rant and rave about. Thanks, Quik, for clearing up a rumor that’s been floating around for years. But, at this point it’s kind of like “WGAF.”* The second is this: I swear hip-hop and wrestling are more alike than Kendrick Lamar and Daniel Bryan supporters want to admit.

Except, of course, without too many running knees to the face. Sidenote: WWE, can you just either have Daniel Bryan win the belt and hold it for a while or move him out of the title picture for now?


I’ll talk more about that on my own page at some point for all of my wrestling fans out there. Now where was I? Oh, yes. Hip-Hop.

Young Buck’s out of prison after almost two years (and Gucci Mane’s headed back in). Here’s hoping he can catch a W for the first time in a while. Buck, to me, was one of the stronger aspects of G-Unit. Even though he didn’t get the shine of 50 or Banks, he was solid. Plus, he was “Southern” but still not “typical Southern” rap. Heck, anyone remember the “Shorty Wanna Ride” video with all its anti-Illuminati imagery? I’m not a believer in that sort of thing, especially how it pertains to rap, but I like when artists think outside the box for videos. That is, of course, to a degree. Can we not have Drake shooting (at) people to something that reminds you of 80s synthpop, Miami Vice/Scarface references be damned? Yes, I know, it’s a mini-movie (another post for another time), but it doesn’t really go too well with the song.

But, speaking of Aubrey “Drizzy Drake Wheelchair Jimmy Champagne Papi Rogers” Graham, his Nothing Was the Same tops the charts this week with sales of close to 700K. Now I’m more of a Take Care kind of guy, but all I can say (without looking like too much of a jaded a-hole–or Big GhostFASE) is this: congrats. Now if I can just get him on one of my songs…

On the independent side, I am actually trumpeting the release of DMV artist True God’s Soul Revival 2 album, which I handled most of the production on. (Yes, Virginia. I am a rapper and a producer as well as an opinionated blogger; check the bio) Objectively, the album presents a man who has lost a lot and is slowly starting to gain it all back, using music as his therapy. Part GKMC, part Nas, the album is revolutionary and militant while still being introspective and retrospective. I will not voice my subjective opinion here because I’d rather not sacrifice too much of my artistic integrity in my first post.

And, finally, on a light note (kind of), we’ve got this:

Until next time, guys and girls.

Speed on the Beat

*I’m making an effort to keep my language PG/PG-13 to show people I can be witty without cursing/being too vulgar.